Computers

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Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

The secret of the universe is #@*%! NO CARRIER

Did anyone see my lost carrier?

Error, no keyboard-press F1 to continue.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Double your drive space-delete Windows!

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multitasking?

My computer isn't that nervous...it's just a bit ANSI.

Honey, I Formatted the Kid!

Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!

Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

Never violate the Prime Directory! C:\

Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...

Maniac: An early computer built by nuts...

Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk...

Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes...

Captain! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!

C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.

ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

'Calm down-it's only ones and zeros.'

'.... now touch these wires to your tongue!'

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

It said, 'Insert disk #3,' but only two will fit!

RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!

Computers are only human.

This time it will surely run.

I just found the last bug.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to
chance.

It's redundant! It's redundant!

Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature. 

The programmer's National Anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH' 

'Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE'

Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...

To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...

Microwave: Signal from a friendly micro...

Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...

Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.

AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous

CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today

This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.

Today's assembler command: EXOP Execute Operator

Justify my text? I'm sorry but it has no excuse.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER

My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.

Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

To define recursion, we must first define recursion.

Good programming is 99% sweat and 1% coffee.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must 
be the process of putting them in. 

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