Reasons It's Good To Be A Guy

Back To Categories

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
1) Three words: Monday Night Football 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
2) You understand why The Three Stooges are funny. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
3) You know stuff about tanks. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
4) A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
5) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
6) You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
7) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
8) You can open all your own jars. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
9) Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
10) Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
11) When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every 
    shot of somebody crying. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
12) Your butt is never a factor in job interviews. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
13) All your orgasms are real. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
14) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
15) Guy in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into the 
    boards). 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
16) You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
17) Movie nudity is always female. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
18) You can go to the bathroom without a support group. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
19) Your last name stays put. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
20) You can leave the hotel bed unmade. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
21) When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone 
    secretly hates you. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
22) You can kill your own food. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
23) The garage is all yours. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
24) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
25) You see the humor in Terms of Endearment. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
26) Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
27) You never have to clean a toilet. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
28) You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
29) Sex means never worrying about your reputation. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
30) Wedding plans take care of themselves. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
31) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still 
    be your friend. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
32) your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
33) The National College Cheerleading Championship. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
34) You don't have to shave below your neck. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
35) None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
36) You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
37) If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
38) You can write your name in the snow. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
39) You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
40) Everything on your face gets to stay its original color. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
41) Chocolate is just another snack. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
42) You can be president. (In this lifetime.) 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
43) You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
44) Flowers fix everything. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
45) You never have to worry about other people's feelings. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
46) You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
47) You can wear a white shirt to a water park. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
48) Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
49) You can eat a banana in a hardware store. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
50) You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about 
    what people will think. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
51) Foreplay is optional. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
52) Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
53) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
54) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
55) You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
56) You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
57) Car mechanics tell you the truth. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
58) You don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
59) You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever 
    thinking "He must be mad at me". 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
60) The world is your urinal. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
61) You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's 
    about to leave you. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
62) You get to jump up and slap stuff. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
63) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
64) One mood, all the time 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
65) You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
66) You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's 
    just too skeevy. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
67) you know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
68) You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
69) Same work...more pay! 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
70) Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
71) You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch 
    adjustment. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
72) Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
73) You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
74) With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's 
    population in 15 tries, at least in theory. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
75) You don't mooch off others' desserts. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
76) If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
77) The remote control is yours and yours alone. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
78) People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
79) ESPN's SportsCenter. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
80) You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
81) Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
82) You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
83) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
84) You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
85) If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell 
    your other friends you've changed. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
86) Someday you'll be a dirty old man. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
87) You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it." 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
88) If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just 
    might become lifelong buddies. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
89) Princess Di's death was just another obituary. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
90) The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
91) You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in 
    the mood. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
92) You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
93) If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer 
    or throw it across the room. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
94) New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
95) Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
96) You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
97) Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them. 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
98) Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice 
    anything different?" 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
99) Baywatch 

Reasons it's good to be a guy: 
100) There's always a game on somewhere. 

Back To Categories